Eleven Years Later: What My Strokes Have Taught Me

Eleven years ago today, I had my first stroke. In January, I had my second.

When I look back at everything that has happened since that first stroke, I keep coming back to a few things I know in my heart:

God is real. Our bodies are amazing. Real friendships matter. Do the things. Be kind. Show grace. Don't judge anyone - ever.

These aren't just nice ideas to me. They're lessons I've learned by living through things I never expected to face.

God is real

I shouldn't have survived my first stroke, and yet, God pulled me through. I believe He wasn't done with me.

That doesn't mean the years since have always been easy. A stroke can change so much about your life, and learning to navigate those changes has been its own journey.  When I look at where I started and where I am now, I'm amazed by how much I've learned, how much I've adapted, and how much life has held for me.

I don't pretend to have all the answers about why hard things happen. I only know that my faith has carried me through moments when I couldn't see (sometimes literally) how I would make it to the other side. I'm still here, and I don't take that for granted.

Our bodies are amazing

A stroke can change the way you move through the world. Some changes are obvious. Others are invisible to everyone around you. I've had to learn new ways to navigate, adjust, and take care of myself.

Our bodies are remarkable. They work hard for us, and they can adapt in ways that still amaze me. That doesn't mean every change is easy or that our bodies always do what we want them to do. It means there is strength in learning what your body needs and finding ways forward, even when life looks different than you expected.

I'm grateful for the things my body can do, and I've learned to give myself grace for the things that take more effort.

Real friendships matter

I would never have made it to the other side without my girls, my Hubs, and the incredible tribe of women God put in my life.

There is something powerful about having people who stay close when life gets hard. People who show up, sit with you, help you keep going, or simply remind you that you aren't alone. Those relationships have meant more to me than I could ever put into words.

Some of those women are still here beside me. Some were part of my life for just that season. I'm grateful for every one of them. The people who walk with us, whether for a lifetime or for a chapter, can leave a lasting mark on our hearts.

Do the things

I don't put things off anymore. I'm not talking about my to-do list (I've never been one to procrastinate on chores)!

I mean the other things. The travel. The experiences. The plans that make you excited. The memories you keep saying you'll make someday.

I've learned that life doesn't always unfold on the schedule we expect. So if there's something you want to see, try, or experience, don't keep waiting for the perfect time. Make the plan. Take the trip. Say yes when you can.

Doing the things doesn't have to mean doing something huge. It can mean making room for what brings you joy and not letting every day get swallowed up by the list of things that simply have to get done.

Be kind

I always knew kindness was important. I don't think I understood just how important until I had to move through the world in ways other people didn't understand.

Be kind to yourself, too. It can take time to adjust to a changed life. You don't have to have everything figured out or handle every hard day perfectly. Give yourself the patience and compassion you would offer someone you love.

Be kind to other people. We can't know what someone else is carrying. A little understanding can mean more than we realize.

Show grace. Don't judge.

If you knew how many people have said, "You don't look blind," it would astonish you.

I'm often judged for the way I behave or the things I do to navigate the world because I don't "look" disabled. Some people have thought I was drunk. Some have thought I was rude because I didn't acknowledge them when I couldn't see them. Some have thought I was weird for wearing sunglasses when they didn't think I needed them.

Some have even wondered if I was in an healthy relationship because my Hubs walks me to the bathroom in unfamiliar places and waits for me to come out. What they don't see is that he's helping me feel safe and find my way in a place I don't know.

Those assumptions can hurt. They're also a reminder that what we see is never the whole story. We don't know what someone is dealing with, what help they need, or what it takes for them to get through an ordinary day.

So show grace. Give people room to be different from what you expect, and don't judge someone by what you think you see.

It all matters

Eleven years after my first stroke, and after facing another one this year, I'm reminded that all of it matters: faith, friendship, experiences, kindness, and grace.

The people who stand beside us matter. The memories we make matter. The small acts of patience and understanding matter. And the way we treat ourselves and one another matters.

I'm grateful to still be here, grateful for the people who have walked beside me, and grateful for the lessons I'm still learning. If there's one thing I hope you take from my story, it's this: do the things, be kind, show grace, and remember that you never know someone's whole story.